Tuesday, December 30, 2008

viva las vegas!

we just barely returned from our little excursion to vegas, and i thought i'd share the highlights.
>playing the wii for hours on end at the wills, completely commandeering it.
>telling stories for family homely with grandpa george going on and on until grandma leaned over and said it's getting late dear. (it was like 8)
>getting so sick and throwing up everywhere with chants of the faker is back! following me into the bathroom
>having to stay in the car (because of the cursed sickness) while everyone else ate at the paris for 18 bucks a pop.
>getting out of the said car to meet up with the fam while the alarm goes off behind me, with a group of asians looking at me in wonder, as if i was a small burglar.
>after all that torment, the one thing i wanted to do was shop at h&m, which i did, while i was sick, and then having the parents say hurry up brooke! you're using your sephora time! because THEY were tired!
>and last but definitely not least, having an old man come up to me in costco and saying to me: cover your mouth when you yawn. well i'm Sooooorrryy!

Monday, December 15, 2008

i'm still laughing.

i was rummaging the fridge for something to eat because i was hungry, when my mother (who was sitting at the kitchen table doing christmas things) started making these weird yipping noises. i paid her no mind until she had gone on for at least ten yips. i look over at her and she starts laughing because she was trying to get my attention. the following conversation ensued:
mother: do you remember that sesame street with the alien guys who talked to eachother like that? yip yip yip
me: um, no.
mother: well let's try it; when i say yip you answer me. yip.
me: haha no. did you know they're changing cookie monster to the carrot monster?
mother: because of all the chubby kids?
me: i think so, and bert and ernie can't live in the same room, politically incorrect, although i distinctly remember separate beds.
mother: they were roommates!
then she starts bobbing her head back and forth, doing the pigeon dance the p-i-g-e-o-n dance
i was laughing so hard i layed down on the counter for a little bit

later(as i'm blogging)
me:i'm worried no one is going to think it is funny!
mother: i don't think it is funny. i think it is normal. a lot of people talk about sesame all the time!

oh, mother.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

when trying to be nice goes wrong.

so as we all know, i am a very nice person. i always say something positive when someone changes their appearance, and i don't even remember the last time i said something rude. in fact, i don't think i ever have. anyway, i was at school in my foods class when the new kid came in. now, he is a little weird, and he doesn't have many friends. all the more reason i should show him my genial side! i said hey, i really like your new haircut! to which the reply was, i didn't get a haircut. my rebuttal: are you sure? his response: um, yes. later--me: well i know something is different. him:i washed my hair. me:oh. needless to say, we haven't conversed in a while.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I don't think i should go to school anymore.

so i was sitting in the lunch room with kiley jo, when i discovered a rotten grape amidst the other grapes in my sack lunch. so, being the mature individual you all know, i decided to throw it at someone. i just didn't know who to throw it at. so i decided to fire at random. i took my aim and let fly. it hit a girl one table over from me, in the face. and not just any girl--a lesbian with a large girlfriend. i immediately started apologizing saying that i wasn't meaning to hit her, but it was hard to sound sincere because i was laughing so hard. at this point in the time the whole table of lesbians were glaring at me. i told kiley i was ready to go.
later on in the day i saw those same girls in the hall, we made eye contact, i turned around. i'm afraid of getting beat up by lesbians!!
and here's the kicker, right after it happened kiley turns to me and says, it's fine, they probably think you are one of them anyway. how rude!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i'll choose what my quirks are thank you very much.

this picture is an ode to my egomaniacal self.

let's dive right into it:
quirk number one: my love of twilight. kidding matt, kidding.
real quirk number one: my home body nature. somewhere in between all the groundings the parents have instilled in me a love of being in my house. on weekends, right after school, doesn't matter i like being at home. now don't misunderstand me, i like being home ALONE. none of this bringing friends over business.
quirk number two: dancing like a black person. gender non-restrictive, i can (or so i like to think) get down.
quirk number three: thus far the quirks i've mentioned have been cute and relatable. this one might turn the tables. i have a tendency to push jokes a little too far. it's all fun and games in the beginning, then suddenly i think it's funny to make racist comments, fat jokes, violent gags, or sexually natured cracks. (andy from the office ringing a bell? yeah, that's me.) oh yes they are laughable, very laughable. but highly inappropriate.
quirk number four: i have the ability to remember the words from any song i've ever heard. yes i was voted senior most likely to not know what happened last night, but ask me for the lyrics to that obscure song back when i was seven? i've got you covered.
quirk number five for some reason i was blessed with the gene to eat like crazy with no consequences. the last time i excercised, it was running from the front yard to the back and i had to catch my breath for a couple minutes. now you might think i'm lying, but let me tell you what i ate yesterday. 5 blueberry muffins (breakfast), 1.5 liters of water, one potato complete with cheese, sour cream, butter, pretzel sticks, an apple, one capri sun, nutty bar (lunch), sweet potato, pork chops, broccoli, one pear (dinner), popcorn with a whole cube of butter, 6-7 cherry turn overs, one whole more than king size chocolate bar, 2 glasses milk, banana (various snacks throughout the day.) i weigh a healthy 100
quirk number six: now this one might just be a harrison thing, but i have a massive ego. i hide it quite well i might add, but it's in there alright. i catch myself looking at any reflective surface (mirrors, plexi glass, spoons, windows, cds, my cell phone camera, the back of my iPod) and making comments like, "dang girl." and "looking good, very good." i make special trips to the bathroom just to look at myself. and that's just the beginning. i think i'm the most talented, the best dressed, the smartest, and the coolest thing. EVER.

i'm not following the dumb rules, i'm just tagging kim because having a baby is not as taxing as to not be able to blog once in a while. love you sister!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Nerd Fest.

yes, i went to the midnight premiere of twilight. i had to!! i bought an edward shirt, and wore it to school that day. i also went to a school dance on saturday and i even bought my date a jacob shirt. needless to say, twilight was AWESOME. i am in love with edward. yes i am like every other girl even though i've strived my whole life to be different, this is one thing i can't deny. he is beautiful.
p.s., fun little side note. the girl that isn't kiley or me, that is a teacher at my school.

Monday, November 17, 2008

My Life Outside Work.

So Hillcrest has this dance, husky howl. It's girl's choice and i wasn't planning on going. eventually, my friends talked me into it. but that was two days before the actual dance, and choices were limited. i ended up taking this fellow-Gavin. But i had to look real good because he was related to this guy that i had previous dealings with. i picked him up, the date went well, but then i got the pictures at school. Everything i had carefully planned was a COMPLETE FAILURE. i do not look good in these pictures, and i have to give them to my date who will obviously be showing them to other people that i really do not want to mention. that whole family is going to remember me as an ugly person!! which we all know to be untrue.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

just listen, no talking necessary.

i know everyone is getting sick of my joe stories, but this one might win the cake. Unfortunately i had to work on halloween, and i went as betty boop. now granted, i didn't look exactly like her but people kept asking me over and over again who i was! so i adapted a little system where i would lift my skirt (just a little, i swear) revealing a garter and do the boo boo be do in the high voice and everything. well i was helping a to go customer, and he said is it 89? it's 89 right. obviously he was referring to my costume. i giggled and said no...and and performed my little bit. i was met with a blank stare, until the guy said no it's 89 dollars, right? i was so embarrassed i had to have someone else finish the order.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

bad habit central.

recently i've started doing these little yelps everytime i slip or get hurt or am just the slightest bit in surprise. it's super annoying to myself, and i'm sure to others. just a little side note.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Joe Morley's-Awkward Jokes Breeding Area?

I was on the receiving end of an awkward joke recently and i now feel deeply for my own tables who have been forced to fake laugh at my own dumb witticisms. the story is as follows:
I was serving a couple of whom i already felt a little nervous around, my anxiety stemming from the over-powering smell emanating from the male side of this duo. He asked what was good, and i said what i always say, recommending the brisket or the sugarback ribs. He proceded to order the ribs. later on in the repartee i asked him how they were--he answered, "so good. for a second i thought i was at joe morley's!" i just sort of looked at him, gave an awkward, appreciatory laugh, and walked away.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

oh i thought everyone was doing it...?

well the wait is over! now we all know what little double brookes are going to look like.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

More Tales From Serving

bonus picture from seminary!

lately i've started to feel more comfortable being myself at work. which mostly means i just say whatever i want.
--a table came in and was mad that the band wouldn't be playing that evening. i happened to be their server and was dared to dance for them as a requital. in the heat of the moment i stalked right up to that table and started singing, "my name is brooke. can you get any drinks? any drinks? any drinks drinks drinks?" needless to say they drank it up.
--on a not so joyous note, i recently had a large table who just wasn't in the mood for conversing with the lowly waitress. i had a basket of fries in my hand and as i walked up to the table i asked, "is there anything else i can do for you guys?" while simultaneously placing the fries on the table. two fries sailed down to meet the cheap wood from which the article of furniture was made and i exclaimed "oh no! there goes two fries!" in case you haven't yet noticed i had made a rhyme, guys and fries. i stated this fact to the spectators while i laughed, inwardly and outwardly about the incident. ten sets of eyes stared up at me in dumbfounderment and i could almost hear their introverted comments, "was that supposed to be a joke?", "i hope she doesn't expect me to tip her more for that.", "just give us the fries. no dialogue necessary." i speedily headed to the back and added gratuity.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

flagged. (flattered + tagged)

Thanks Kimmer! i feel loved. here i go! oh--by the way, matt. you're next.

10 Favorites...

Color- green. i can't help it, my eyes remind me each time i look in the mirror.

Food- oh but there are so many to choose from. easy cheese. no theater popcorn. wait french onion chip dip?

Song-currently? live your life by t.i. and rihanna. i know i know, very original. i don't care-check it out, it's awesome.

Movie-Little Manhatten. My humor in a nutshell.

Sport-does yo-yo ing count?

Season- summer!! i have a very small inner comfort scale, like between 80 degrees and 85.

Day of the Week- hmmm. how about tuesdays, when i don't work, and a new episode of gossip girl has been uploaded online. yes all i need is my 1.5 liter water bottle and i am set.

Ice Cream Flavor-recently i consumed one pint of haagen daaz's mint chip because i was wearing minty green pants that made me crave that kind of ice cream, but they didn't have any green one pints, so i ended up getting the only minty one around. anyway not only do i still owe mitch the 3.00 or so dollars that it cost, but i also ate 1200 calories and 100 grams of sugar in one sitting. that was one crazy english class.

Time of Day- anytime i'm eating.

9 Currents...

Mood- nervous/anxious this is more a constant state of mind as i'm wondering what i might get caught at next.

Taste- ikea swedish chocolate. i helped mom with something, she gave it to me as a reward, and a fight ensued between her and dad. (apparently it was his chocolate). and i'm still eating it...things have changed around here.

Clothes- oh well under protest from each parent and tracy i am wearing bright yellow tights (given to me by none other than the librarian at my school-that's a story in and of itself) and a short dress with tiny little sleeves that, in mom's book, don't count as sleeves as all. i wish i had a picture!

Desktop picture-a very egotistical picture of me and trent

Toenail color- two months old pink with little rhinestone flowers, very chic, and very asian.

Time- 8:47 pm.

Surroundings- home, sweet home.

Annoyances- having to move to the upstairs compute (yes compute) so trent can play a game downstairs.

Thought- where in heaven's name am i going to go to college?

8 Firsts...

Best Friend- taylor bluth and anna eldridge. wow those girls and i have had some pretty fun experiences.

Kiss- his name was taylor felt, it was the ninth grade, and i remember him vividly trying to make it more than a peck and me running upstairs and away without saying goodbye.

Pet- oh george is the first dog i remember and boy was i afraid of him.

Crush- uncle joey on full house.

Music- i'm gonna go with gloria estefan. i'm not sure of the name, but i remember dancing around the tv with dad to it.

Car- i'm not even old enough to have owned my own yet.

Speeding Ticket- i'm still mad about this. it was like three weeks ago, 15 over in a school zone, no license. i have yet another court date on the 29th of oct.

7 Lasts...

Cigarette- maybe a year ago? nasty, trashy things.

Drink- are we talking alcoholic? i would never!!

Car Ride- home from my date with ike simmons who lives just down the street. we saw a move, got theater popcorn (woo woo!) and ate red mango. i drove and paid, i'm the best date ever.

Kiss- hmmm. the summertime. wow i had better get cracking. i have a rep to uphold here.

Phone Call- mother dearest. to ask if i could go to red mango. (i'm still on a pretty tight leash.)

CD played- a mix i made at school in a teacher's class, while she was teaching. i love being a senior.

6 Have you evers...

Dated one of your best friends- i'm against dating?

Broken the law- we all know that i'm the most law-abiding member of the harrison household.

Been arrested- funny you should ask. yes. at school. thanks to my parents.

Skinny dipped- i wish!

Been on TV- once i think when dad was over seas. the news baby!!

5 Things (5 for each)...

You're wearing-vans, tights, a dress, scandalous underwear that i have to wash myself because the washer cannot be disgraced by it's presence, and a bra. wow i barely made that one. five things exactly!

You've done today-cabin looking with the parents, eaten a very gross turkey (suspiciously ham-tasting) sandwich, fought with trent over scissors, had a dance party at the work-place, and oh yes drank 1.5 liters of water.

You can hear right now-the soulful tones of the eagles singing desperado, my typing (click click click!) the vibrating of my phone, the computer humming along, wait now it's billy joel only the good die young.

You can't live without-food, 1.5 liters of water a day, air, music, money.

You do when you're bored- play the guitar/piano/cello, blog, listen to some sweet music, watch online episodes of tv shows.

4 Places you have been today...

1. work (joe morley's)
2. charlie's log cabin (thus explaining the gross turkey/ham (tam? hurkey?) sandwich.
3. my car.
4. huntsville, the birthplace of david o. mckay, a large brown sign informed us so.

3 People you can tell anything to...

1. mandy
2. trent
3. xena warrior princess

2 Choices...

1. watch tv, or watch tv online.

2. to live, or live and let die. (Paul mccartney is now on)

1 Thing you want to do before you die...

1. get married and do married people things. (haha i hope mom didn't get this far!)


Monday, October 13, 2008

i don't look like a boy, do i?

so i was at a local middle school today and i went inside to go to the bathroom. as i entered the said location, i heard a loud female voice say, "a dude just went into the girls' bathroom!" i really had to go so i didn't turn around. i came out and some girls were waiting by the entrance. they stared at me for a while as i washed my hands (for some reason the sink was on the outside of the bathroom. albion is ghetto, i know.) as i walked away the same voice exclaimed, "is that a boy?!" i just kept walking. stupid, immature, adolescents.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Legal and Liable--

Well. I did it. I turned eighteen. I think i'm going to be sick.

I wish everyone was aware of eachother, to be able to have some inkling of what another is feeling. That way we would be more compassionate and less self-centered. That's my goal in this new year of my life, to be aware of others and forget myself.

Enough serious talk. My Birthday was awesome, i got a guitar! i originally named it Kevin but then everyone thought i had named it after Uncle Kevin and it got really awkward so it is nameless again. We went to Citrus Grill for dinner and to Tracy's for dessert. I think it is one of the most laid back birthday's i've ever had (i vaguely remember watching tv alone at home for a while) but it was definitely one of the best.

i just have a little side story, i was at work yesterday and my very last table was this real cute older couple but that's beside the point. I came out to check on them and the lady asked abashedly if she could have a new water as a fly had landed in hers. I apologized and she took it as license to tell me the story, it had flown by and she blew it away from her and into the glass. (it must have been a teeny fly). I laughed and said, "you blew that fly to it's demise." They both just looked at me until I just took the glass and walked away. I still think it was pretty funny, but apparently i'm the only one.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Blooke Reigns Supreme

I'm on a path of self discovery.
This weekend has been full of finding out things about myself i never knew before-mostly with the help of Jamie and Brad. First: I'm a story re-teller. It's quite embarrassing really. Finding yourself repeating the same lines over and over and even more embarrassing to the same people! Second: I don't chew my food. I'm in such a hurry to get the nutrients to my stomach (I look out for my body) i only chew once or twice before i swallow. For a long time I thought I was allergic to bread because it hurt when i swallowed, but now I realize I'm just not chewing thoroughly. Third: I have a passion for the guitar. I'm taking a guitar class at school, and now I want to be really good. I even went out and bought my own guitar book! I practice every day. And Lastly: I'm a badminton queen. We played with the family on Sunday, the results are as follows:
Renee' and Brooke vs. Jamie and Brad. Renee' and Brooke are victorious
Brooke and Lance vs. Tracy and Marc. Brooke and Lance are victorious
Blaire and Brooke vs. Lance and Renee'. Blaire and Brooke (or Blooke as we deemed ourselves) are victorious. The trick is letting your instincts and reflexes take over. I owned that court.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

One Up!

Lately i've started playing Super Mario Brothers again. I can't help it, it drags me in! Anyway there is this one fortress outside of the forest that i cannot pass. But the main reason for this blog is a conversation i had at work about SuperNintendo. I mentioned the level i couldn't pass to my coworkers-as it is a main point of stress to me in my life right now-and then i happened to mention that i had also started playing Ultimate Street Fighting and the hostess starts freaking out about how she used to play that game all the time. The dialog ensuing was the both of us practically yelling about our favorite characters and moves and subsequently demonstrating them. Our manager was not to be left out and quickly whipped out his cell phone, which had a version of Ultimate Street Fighting on it.
i love my job.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Coast.

I recently attended a family reunion on the Oregon Coast. It was awesome, to say the least. I successfully reached my goal of entering the frigid, hypothermia-in-15-minutes, Pacific ocean each day of my trip. (Once at 9 o'clock at night, the single coldest moment of my ENTIRE life.) Fully immersed each time.
Almost everyone from my mom's side of the family was there which made for a hectic experience. Becca and I counted 75 people in all.
*getting infected from a bite inflicted upon me by my 2 and a half year old nephew
*my sister Kim informing me she needs to use the bathroom before me because she has a uterus. I kindly reminded her, i have one too. (she is pregnant)
*this one i actually don't remember but apparently i told my sister Renee' late one night as she was climbing into the bunk underneath me (I was asleep) that if she didn't stop making noise i was going to kill her.
*skipping the tea party my aunts put on to sleep and watch the movies crash and miss congeniality on tv, both have sandra bullock in them (just a fun fact) then making my brothers go back and get me some truffles.
*Lance gave each of us a quote for the vacation-mine was, "I'm ounce counting!" only because EVERYONE kept drinking out of my water bottle, constantly. I have to drink 1.5 liters a day, people.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Heavens to Betsy

It all started the day mom left for Girl's Camp. Between "morning briefings" with the General and my very stressful life (including laying out, reading, listening to music, and contemplating life's unanswered questions) I was almost at breaking point.
Dad called me into the living room, and as we all know-that's where we get all of his talks. He asked me if i would like to go to a military thing with him the following day. I answered with absolutely no hesitation, "no." And then came the conditions-i would go with him or i wouldn't go anywhere the entire weekend. Again no hesitation, "sure dad it sounds like a lot of fun." the cold hard truth had sunk in. I was not even trusted to stay along at my own home for two consecutive hours. The trip started with much trepidation and zero hope. The first meeting went by fine, standard military precedure. Then i got a taste of dad's famous humor. He introduced me to several military buddies as his wife-as he had recently joined the FLDS church. I think pure mortification made my mouth hang open as i sputtered out, "i'm his daughter. Dad that is not funny!" this happened not once, but twice. TWICE. The next meeting was a retirement and is like nothing i have ever experienced before, nor do i believe i will ever get the opportunity to again. The man retiring (keep in mind he has got to be in his 50s or 60s) was strapped to a gurney and the military men around him preceded to spray him down with a firehose! Dad taking the first shot. Apparently the man being sprayed had had this done to another retiring fellow several years ago. The suddenly interesting slash actually fun trip to the base ended with dad yelling at every single driver on the way home using phrases such as "heavens to betsy" and "idiot". I just sat back and reveled, happy to have this man in my life.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Best Mom Ever.

i just feel like the world should know that Brooke Harrison has the greatest mom to ever grace this earth. She puts up with my snotty attitude and makes me laugh every day. When did she get so funny? I don't ever remember this being the case: This morning I was eating my butterscotch pudding (prepared by none other than the woman herself) and she says to me, "I think this is the best pudding I've ever made! Do you know what makes it so good?" I replied, "I donno mom. Is it made with love?" and she gives her little girlish giggle, "well yes, but i made it with skim milk!" This is where i become completely confused. How could skim milk make anything better?! and she adds "and then i put a little half and half in! Thickest, creamiest pudding ever!" ha so much for being healthy. I continue eating the fat filled delicacy, and mom strides into the room hands in the air, "did no one notice that i am wearing the same clothes as yesterday?!" (keep in mind that i arose from my darkened room about ten minutes earlier, and it is now 9:15 in the morning.) i just laughed and asked her, "when did you get so funny?" to which she retorts, "oh please!" (which she got from me by the way, i say it constantly.) and i say "i think you gleaned it from your children as they matured!" she scoffs, "they gleaned it from me! sometimes i think mothers are invisible to children from the mouth down." and then promptly covers her mouth and discontinues talking. (see picture above) i ran to the camera and chortled i have to blog this! her mouth immediately becomes uncovered and she says in a sweet pleading voice, "can't we just have a private blog, Brooke? one that you write and i am the only one allowed to read?" obviously i won that argument.
and yesterday! we're watching pride and prejudice, (watching romantic films has become a daily occurrence with me.) and mother, pretending to cry and talking in her best British accent ever precedes to wrap her body around me and cry out "you are so much more romantic than I'll ever be!"
and in the car i vividly remember her saying, "oh no. Trent is going to FREAK."

Monday, July 7, 2008

My Life As A Summer Bum

Being grounded and all, i spent a lot of my time around the house. If i can't find things to fill my time, i sleep, which results in mom giving me an earlier bedtime. So not only am i grounded, but i have to be in my room with all electronics off at 11. Not the best living circumstances. So here are some things I've come up with doing:
-Jumping on the tramp
-Reading (currently Les Miserables)
-Movies-which involves dragging mom to the dollar theater
and subsequently making her pay.
-Drinking large quantities of water (a new addiction with me. a
liter and a half a day!)
-Listening to/buying music for my iPod, Bernie.
-Sunbathing-happening less frequently seeing as mother likes
to tap on the window and mouth to me "skin cancer"

All in all, I'm pretty proud of my list. At least I'm keeping (somewhat) busy. The Parents have another idea. Always trying to get me to get dressed in the morning and what not. Mom is constantly telling me that service would make me feel good, and give me blessings so i should go out and do it! I tell her i do do service, did i not just move my feet so Trent could sit down and watch the tube with me? Another common reply is momma, i do have others best interests in mind! It's not my fault that their best interests happen to be my best interests. (As far as I can tell.)
Being grounded is the life.

Friday, July 4, 2008

new hair.

I cut my hair a few months ago, but i haven't taken very many pictures since. Here is one of the few!
I got the cut from Agnes Dean, a British model. It's very short but i LOVE it.

Working on my ECO problem

Recently i was deemed untrustworthy by my parents and hauled off to counseling...again. Now, my story is i don't need counseling and i'm sticking to it. But while I'm in it, i decided why not blog about it? My counselor's name is Chris and as much as it hurts me to say it, i like him. He is a great guy! But there is one problem...he's caught on to my manipulating power-which is more than i can say for the last "counselor"-and instead of seeing me the way i would like to have portrayed myself, i was bestowed with the title, emotionally closed off. (At this point i crossed my arms in frustration attempting to show some emotion, and was promptly told-anger is a secondary emotion, Brooke. We use it to cover up what we are really feeling. So much for manipulation!) Now i can't say anything to him without him thinking I'm making it up. So i was sent out into the world by my counselor to find someone i can open up to. This is me working on my ECO problem.