It all started the day mom left for Girl's Camp. Between "morning briefings" with the General and my very stressful life (including laying out, reading, listening to music, and contemplating life's unanswered questions) I was almost at breaking point.
Dad called me into the living room, and as we all know-that's where we get all of his talks. He asked me if i would like to go to a military thing with him the following day. I answered with absolutely no hesitation, "no." And then came the conditions-i would go with him or i wouldn't go anywhere the entire weekend. Again no hesitation, "sure dad it sounds like a lot of fun." the cold hard truth had sunk in. I was not even trusted to stay along at my own home for two consecutive hours. The trip started with much trepidation and zero hope. The first meeting went by fine, standard military precedure. Then i got a taste of dad's famous humor. He introduced me to several military buddies as his wife-as he had recently joined the FLDS church. I think pure mortification made my mouth hang open as i sputtered out, "i'm his daughter. Dad that is not funny!" this happened not once, but twice. TWICE. The next meeting was a retirement and is like nothing i have ever experienced before, nor do i believe i will ever get the opportunity to again. The man retiring (keep in mind he has got to be in his 50s or 60s) was strapped to a gurney and the military men around him preceded to spray him down with a firehose! Dad taking the first shot. Apparently the man being sprayed had had this done to another retiring fellow several years ago. The suddenly interesting slash actually fun trip to the base ended with dad yelling at every single driver on the way home using phrases such as "heavens to betsy" and "idiot". I just sat back and reveled, happy to have this man in my life.
1 comment:
Just count your blessing that Dad didn't use the word he used to use in traffic...until Mom made him stop. I'll give you a hint, j*****s.
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