Monday, August 24, 2009

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

Recently I have acquired a position at a local deli, ok a corporate deli.
Their motto is "crazy about food". Well they have one thing right, they are definitely crazy.
We started with the basics, training videos. Everyone knows that training videos are corny, but this place went above and beyond the expectancy level. At one point a lady exclaimed to a worker (in the video)-you have astounded me with your wealth of knowledge. I couldn't help it, I started laughing and laughing. The worst part is, no one else thought it was weird. The other trainees were riveted! As I laughed I looked around like, "come now, you can't be serious. right?" they all shifted awkwardly in their seats as if to apologize for my raucous behavior.
Next up was online training, you know the type, listening to a lot of boring videos and answering questions afterwards.
I settled in for the long haul, and was pleasantly surprised when I found out that whoever created the videos was a weirdo. Point in case, an actual instruction from the video: when you are cleaning up the deli, make sure you pick up debris from the floor. Napkins, gloves, toothpicks, grapes, and other items that might be in the way. GRAPES? What in tarnation! I can only assume that lately there has been an excess of grape dropping, subsequently resulting in grape squashing, that is simply unacceptable. So unacceptable in fact that they decided to put it in the online training videos. This way, they can nip this grape problem in the bud.
And the last is, my manager. He said something so funny that it is blog-worthy. He was giving the troops a pep talk, when an epiphany hit him. He stopped, and inserted in the repartee-we shouldn't be saying customer service anymore. We should be saying customer satisfaction, because we want them to be thoroughly satisfied. And I could only think-yes thoroughly satisfied is much better than being thoroughly serviced. I still wish I had said it out loud. Ok so what he said wasn't that funny, I just wanted an excuse to put something funny I thought in. done, and done.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Ducat

Oh what, you don't have a friend with a Ducati who drives you to cool waterfalls, and then takes pictures of you at the tippy top? (I really am up there, in a green shirt, look close)