so i was sitting in the lunch room with kiley jo, when i discovered a rotten grape amidst the other grapes in my sack lunch. so, being the mature individual you all know, i decided to throw it at someone. i just didn't know who to throw it at. so i decided to fire at random. i took my aim and let fly. it hit a girl one table over from me, in the face. and not just any girl--a lesbian with a large girlfriend. i immediately started apologizing saying that i wasn't meaning to hit her, but it was hard to sound sincere because i was laughing so hard. at this point in the time the whole table of lesbians were glaring at me. i told kiley i was ready to go.
later on in the day i saw those same girls in the hall, we made eye contact, i turned around. i'm afraid of getting beat up by lesbians!!
and here's the kicker, right after it happened kiley turns to me and says, it's fine, they probably think you are one of them anyway. how rude!!
3 comments:
That Kiley is funny!!! Getting beat up by lesbians isn't funny, though. Who am I kidding? YES IT IS!!!! These stories are the very reason you should stay in school. I'm willing to bet you never got attacked by a roving lesbian band at Mom and Dad's.
OK, to make you feel better I will tell you the pickle story. One day in the cafeteria at Union I was walking back to my table, holding my tray up high to show something (can't remember now what it was, but I'm sure it was awesome) to my friends at the table. At the exact moment I yelled "ta-da!" and raised the tray over my head in joy I slipped on a pickle slice on the floor. A pickle, people! I slid on my knees all the way to my table, the tray still proudly over my head. Meanwhile, the cafeteria had grown...silent. All eyes were on me as my slide came to an end. I had nothing else to offer the audience, so I sat down at my table, mortified.
Ha ha ha! Oh my heavens! That is the funniest story EVER! Man, I miss you Brook-E!
Post a Comment