Friday, September 24, 2010

It was midday, and I was lounging languidly on my bed, lazily surfing the web and downloading new music to fill my ears with. I grew bored, as I often do, and sat up to find something new to occupy my time. I looked around my room inattentively and my wondering eye caught a speck of white against my red sheet.

I peered closer, with one eye, to get as close as possible. "IT'S A TOOTH!" i screamed at the top of my lungs. "A HUMAN TOOTH IS IN MY BED!" and hurriedly picked it up and rushed from my room to share the surprise, discovery, and disgust with my roommates.
They quickly squashed my dream that the tooth fairy may be visiting imminently, as I was growing in my third set of teeth, as the tooth as much too small to be human.
Who else has been in my bed..who else has been in my bed I thought to myself..and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Javier. My head snapped up, my eyes grew wide: "JAVIER IS DYING."
A second roommate piped up from the cave that is his room--kittens lose teeth, Brooke. He's perfectly fine. Again, squashed anticipation, although this time a much more pleasant squash. I tumbled down the stairs and searched for my main man Jave, and upon finding him I pushed his lips aside and gazed into his mouth, and sure enough, a gaping hole gazed back. A molar . "He has lost a molar, is that normal, roommate #2--cat expert extraordinaire?" --Perfectly normal, Brooke. My gaze continued and expanded and I realized that two gaping holes occupied Javier's mouth. That second tooth haunts me day and night, staulking my dreams while the remaining teeth taunt me--where we fall out next, Mamasita? maybe your food. Maybe we show up in your bowel movement because we creep in your mouth while you sleeping, or maybe we join our brother and hide away until a stranger move into theese room and find us in some obscure corner, a pile of teeny-tiny teeth, and they will always wonder. (mexican cat teeth, obviously)

Friday, September 17, 2010

A joke to pass the time

Every morning I start my day by entering the breakroom at my work and eating something breakfasty. On this particular morning, all my coworkers wound up in there as well each doing their own day-starting tasks. We get on very well, and it wasn't very long before jokes arose and the laughing started. A certain coworker of mine was unpacking his shopping back, and out came a can of baby clams.
I looked at the can, looked him in the eye, looked back at the can and said, "baby clams, so-and-so? You're a monster!"
and that was the best joke to ever leave my mouth in the office setting.
(besides when the judge asked if a picture on his wall looked a little "cock-eyed" and I said, it's a picture, judge. It doesn't have eyes.)