viva las vegas!

we just barely returned from our little excursion to vegas, and i thought i'd share the highlights.
>playing the wii for hours on end at the wills, completely commandeering it.
>telling stories for family homely with grandpa george going on and on until grandma leaned over and said it's getting late dear. (it was like 8)
>getting so sick and throwing up everywhere with chants of the faker is back! following me into the bathroom
>having to stay in the car (because of the cursed sickness) while everyone else ate at the paris for 18 bucks a pop.
>getting out of the said car to meet up with the fam while the alarm goes off behind me, with a group of asians looking at me in wonder, as if i was a small burglar.
>after all that torment, the one thing i wanted to do was shop at h&m, which i did, while i was sick, and then having the parents say hurry up brooke! you're using your sephora time! because THEY were tired!
>and last but definitely not least, having an old man come up to me in costco and saying to me: cover your mouth when you yawn. well i'm Sooooorrryy!

i'm still laughing.

i was rummaging the fridge for something to eat because i was hungry, when my mother (who was sitting at the kitchen table doing christmas things) started making these weird yipping noises. i paid her no mind until she had gone on for at least ten yips. i look over at her and she starts laughing because she was trying to get my attention. the following conversation ensued:
mother: do you remember that sesame street with the alien guys who talked to eachother like that? yip yip yip
me: um, no.
mother: well let's try it; when i say yip you answer me. yip.
me: haha no. did you know they're changing cookie monster to the carrot monster?
mother: because of all the chubby kids?
me: i think so, and bert and ernie can't live in the same room, politically incorrect, although i distinctly remember separate beds.
mother: they were roommates!
then she starts bobbing her head back and forth, doing the pigeon dance the p-i-g-e-o-n dance
i was laughing so hard i layed down on the counter for a little bit

later(as i'm blogging)
me:i'm worried no one is going to think it is funny!
mother: i don't think it is funny. i think it is normal. a lot of people talk about sesame all the time!

oh, mother.

when trying to be nice goes wrong.

so as we all know, i am a very nice person. i always say something positive when someone changes their appearance, and i don't even remember the last time i said something rude. in fact, i don't think i ever have. anyway, i was at school in my foods class when the new kid came in. now, he is a little weird, and he doesn't have many friends. all the more reason i should show him my genial side! i said hey, i really like your new haircut! to which the reply was, i didn't get a haircut. my rebuttal: are you sure? his response: um, yes. later--me: well i know something is different. him:i washed my hair. me:oh. needless to say, we haven't conversed in a while.

I don't think i should go to school anymore.

so i was sitting in the lunch room with kiley jo, when i discovered a rotten grape amidst the other grapes in my sack lunch. so, being the mature individual you all know, i decided to throw it at someone. i just didn't know who to throw it at. so i decided to fire at random. i took my aim and let fly. it hit a girl one table over from me, in the face. and not just any girl--a lesbian with a large girlfriend. i immediately started apologizing saying that i wasn't meaning to hit her, but it was hard to sound sincere because i was laughing so hard. at this point in the time the whole table of lesbians were glaring at me. i told kiley i was ready to go.
later on in the day i saw those same girls in the hall, we made eye contact, i turned around. i'm afraid of getting beat up by lesbians!!
and here's the kicker, right after it happened kiley turns to me and says, it's fine, they probably think you are one of them anyway. how rude!!