Originally composed on November 20th, 2014:
I don’t know who I am anymore, I started much too young
Presumptuous, egotistical, my lifetime story sung
I stop and start, question and feel completely valid
It’s confusing and exhilarating, terrifying, pallid.
I devote my days to strangers and my evenings to friends
The night hours are for lovers, to warm from chill winds
We choose solitary partners, then fret and worry over our choice
Will they love me now or then? Is it enough? The endless whir of the inner voice
We go to bed chatting, arguing over needs
One will always win, frustration and tension breed
It’s unfair to say “monogamy!” and then wait for your partner to comply
Sexually are needs differ, and the attention will always be vied.
I automatically have to want less in order to be with you
Or you have to give in to more—which isn’t fair or true
We woke up to rain, but choose to get wet indoors
Covering ourselves from nature’s shower, the skies we beg/implore
The train clanks by and I watch the cars stuffed
With moisture and bodies, faces pulled rough.
So very many people, train after train
I am the only one who wishes to live on a simpler plane?
A group of marauding rovers exchanging love and devotion
Rarely we come across others, mostly enjoy the company of the ocean
The choices are simple, cut out, not even really a thought
Parsing out needs/wants of two people is hard, but worth a shot.