quick little note

ok, so mom calls me up from the basement, and says she needs help. she even offered me a ferre roche if i did it, so i did it. abby ate all mine, i wanted it! it wasn't til the treat was popped in my mouth, chewed and swallowed that mom tells me she found it in the bunk bed upstairs. if i die, i blame her.

Pone War

It all started when we ran out of pens in the back. i was at work, it was a busy friday night, and i had one pen in my apron. so when one of my tables said they were ready for their check i started freaking out a little (inside of course, i would never lose my composure at work) so i snuck sneakily to the front-the hostess' territory. Now they had two pens, both with labels on them saying hostess' pen, or lori's pen. i grabbed the nearest one (lori's), ripped the tape off, stuck it in my credit card thing, and walked swiftly away. Of course i was making small talk with the hostess' the whole time. halfway to my table i hear a gasp and a "she took our pen!" and i laughed and laughed! little did i know what they were capable of.
ten minutes later i was in the back, keep in mind i had already given the pen back, when i noticed my phone was missing. i don't keep it on me, as it is a distraction while i'm trying to talk to my tables. i started asking around, making sure i asked the cooks who think it is hilarious to steal it and text people. no one had seen it, and i even asked my manager if he took it-much to his offense. when i heard a muttered whisper behind me. kaitlin, a fellow server said, "brooke, the hostess' have it, they told me!" and that's when the pone war started.
i stalked right over to cheyanne (a hostess) and asked her if i could borrow her phone to call mine, she gave it up all to easily and i gave it to maegan another server who they would never suspect. we took all kinds of pictures on it, and eventually i sent maegan as a diplomat to switch phones. she told them of our offer, and they refused! the nerve! so she grabbed another taped pen and ran away! sides were forming quickly, and frantic searches were beginning to find the phones. we hid hers (aliscia's idea) in the straws. lori came into the back and as she walked away i called her name-lori! you forgot this! (the menus, she is the queen of telling people what to do, yet hates it when we do the same to her). finally i called a truce and told cheyanne the general vicinity of where her phone was. she told me mine, and aliscia basically turned traitor and told her where it was. while i found out mine was LOCKED IN A LOCKER. at the end of the night i told her i wouldn't check out until she gave it to me, and she said ok ok i took it out of the locker, we'll play hot and cold. their little game led me to the garbage can where i shifted through all the paper and wetness getting more angry each minute. i had bare hands! even chris looked through it, (a cook) and no phone showed up. they had lied! lied to see me suffer! then i was really angry. randi, an old server came in and i talked to her for like 15 minutes, and when i turned around--they had checked me out! the manager gave them permission, and although i can appreciate the humor, they were winning the war. eventually they gave up the phone, it had to be one of the funnest nights at work that i can remember.

viva las vegas!

we just barely returned from our little excursion to vegas, and i thought i'd share the highlights.
>playing the wii for hours on end at the wills, completely commandeering it.
>telling stories for family homely with grandpa george going on and on until grandma leaned over and said it's getting late dear. (it was like 8)
>getting so sick and throwing up everywhere with chants of the faker is back! following me into the bathroom
>having to stay in the car (because of the cursed sickness) while everyone else ate at the paris for 18 bucks a pop.
>getting out of the said car to meet up with the fam while the alarm goes off behind me, with a group of asians looking at me in wonder, as if i was a small burglar.
>after all that torment, the one thing i wanted to do was shop at h&m, which i did, while i was sick, and then having the parents say hurry up brooke! you're using your sephora time! because THEY were tired!
>and last but definitely not least, having an old man come up to me in costco and saying to me: cover your mouth when you yawn. well i'm Sooooorrryy!

i'm still laughing.

i was rummaging the fridge for something to eat because i was hungry, when my mother (who was sitting at the kitchen table doing christmas things) started making these weird yipping noises. i paid her no mind until she had gone on for at least ten yips. i look over at her and she starts laughing because she was trying to get my attention. the following conversation ensued:
mother: do you remember that sesame street with the alien guys who talked to eachother like that? yip yip yip
me: um, no.
mother: well let's try it; when i say yip you answer me. yip.
me: haha no. did you know they're changing cookie monster to the carrot monster?
mother: because of all the chubby kids?
me: i think so, and bert and ernie can't live in the same room, politically incorrect, although i distinctly remember separate beds.
mother: they were roommates!
then she starts bobbing her head back and forth, doing the pigeon dance the p-i-g-e-o-n dance
i was laughing so hard i layed down on the counter for a little bit

later(as i'm blogging)
me:i'm worried no one is going to think it is funny!
mother: i don't think it is funny. i think it is normal. a lot of people talk about sesame all the time!

oh, mother.

when trying to be nice goes wrong.

so as we all know, i am a very nice person. i always say something positive when someone changes their appearance, and i don't even remember the last time i said something rude. in fact, i don't think i ever have. anyway, i was at school in my foods class when the new kid came in. now, he is a little weird, and he doesn't have many friends. all the more reason i should show him my genial side! i said hey, i really like your new haircut! to which the reply was, i didn't get a haircut. my rebuttal: are you sure? his response: um, yes. later--me: well i know something is different. him:i washed my hair. me:oh. needless to say, we haven't conversed in a while.

I don't think i should go to school anymore.

so i was sitting in the lunch room with kiley jo, when i discovered a rotten grape amidst the other grapes in my sack lunch. so, being the mature individual you all know, i decided to throw it at someone. i just didn't know who to throw it at. so i decided to fire at random. i took my aim and let fly. it hit a girl one table over from me, in the face. and not just any girl--a lesbian with a large girlfriend. i immediately started apologizing saying that i wasn't meaning to hit her, but it was hard to sound sincere because i was laughing so hard. at this point in the time the whole table of lesbians were glaring at me. i told kiley i was ready to go.
later on in the day i saw those same girls in the hall, we made eye contact, i turned around. i'm afraid of getting beat up by lesbians!!
and here's the kicker, right after it happened kiley turns to me and says, it's fine, they probably think you are one of them anyway. how rude!!

i'll choose what my quirks are thank you very much.

this picture is an ode to my egomaniacal self.


let's dive right into it:
quirk number one: my love of twilight. kidding matt, kidding.
real quirk number one: my home body nature. somewhere in between all the groundings the parents have instilled in me a love of being in my house. on weekends, right after school, doesn't matter i like being at home. now don't misunderstand me, i like being home ALONE. none of this bringing friends over business.
quirk number two: dancing like a black person. gender non-restrictive, i can (or so i like to think) get down.
quirk number three: thus far the quirks i've mentioned have been cute and relatable. this one might turn the tables. i have a tendency to push jokes a little too far. it's all fun and games in the beginning, then suddenly i think it's funny to make racist comments, fat jokes, violent gags, or sexually natured cracks. (andy from the office ringing a bell? yeah, that's me.) oh yes they are laughable, very laughable. but highly inappropriate.
quirk number four: i have the ability to remember the words from any song i've ever heard. yes i was voted senior most likely to not know what happened last night, but ask me for the lyrics to that obscure song back when i was seven? i've got you covered.
quirk number five for some reason i was blessed with the gene to eat like crazy with no consequences. the last time i excercised, it was running from the front yard to the back and i had to catch my breath for a couple minutes. now you might think i'm lying, but let me tell you what i ate yesterday. 5 blueberry muffins (breakfast), 1.5 liters of water, one potato complete with cheese, sour cream, butter, pretzel sticks, an apple, one capri sun, nutty bar (lunch), sweet potato, pork chops, broccoli, one pear (dinner), popcorn with a whole cube of butter, 6-7 cherry turn overs, one whole more than king size chocolate bar, 2 glasses milk, banana (various snacks throughout the day.) i weigh a healthy 100
pounds.
quirk number six: now this one might just be a harrison thing, but i have a massive ego. i hide it quite well i might add, but it's in there alright. i catch myself looking at any reflective surface (mirrors, plexi glass, spoons, windows, cds, my cell phone camera, the back of my iPod) and making comments like, "dang girl." and "looking good, very good." i make special trips to the bathroom just to look at myself. and that's just the beginning. i think i'm the most talented, the best dressed, the smartest, and the coolest thing. EVER.

i'm not following the dumb rules, i'm just tagging kim because having a baby is not as taxing as to not be able to blog once in a while. love you sister!